Aftermath
by kaimoe.19
Summary: Maiara wanders the castle in Denerim reflecting the few past months. (Dragon Age: Origins ending if you made Alistair king and kept Anora as queen.) How would their relationship be strained after the Landsmeet? One-Shot. f!Cousland.


"I'm not calling you a liar, just don't lie to me."

I'm Not Calling You a Liar  
By: Florence & The Machine

"His kingship cannot see you as of this moment," My brows furrowed slightly. I stood in front of Alistair's study honestly confused. The guard gave me a look I couldn't exactly place or understand.

"We were supposed to meet at lunch, has something come up?" I asked worriedly. The blight was over but we were never safe. Darkspawn were like a bad case of termites or some other infectious insect. They were always at our back door nibbling away.

"I don't know Lady Cousland; I was just told that he was not supposed to be bothered," he said apologetically. I nodded my head slowly and turned away from the study door. It must be something wrong for Alistair to cancel without telling me in advance. These couple months after the Blight have been stressful. Alistair was king and with convincing, Anora was his queen. The look on his face when I suggested it was between shock, hurt, and betrayal.

Nearly the same look when I asked him to sleep with Morrigan.

I winced at the thought, but we were both here because of it. She saved our lives no matter how you looked at it. He, of course was upset and for a while we didn't speak. I was still allowed lodging in the castle, but that was as far as it went until recently. He came to my room one night after a month of avoidance.

1 Month Earlier

"So, you've finally made it around to visit me," I said opening the door wide enough and stepping back in the room excepting him to follow. "This castle being so big and all; it's good that you caught me I was just packing"

If I had bothered turned around to see his face I'm sure he would've been frowning. I wasn't going to sit around wait for him to come to his senses. I had wasted enough time as it was.

"Packing?" he voice sounded honestly surprised and that just made my heart ache more. Was he really surprised? "Why are you packing? Is there something wrong with the Wardens that I should be concerned of?"

I sighed miserably turning to pull more clothes out of the armoire. "No, the Wardens are fine. If his Majesty would like to know more on the subject then he should catch me at a later date," I threw the bundles of clothes in my arms onto the bed and started to the armoire again.

"What?" I heard him say in a low voice, more to himself.

I grabbed several shirts and folded them over in my arms. I tossed them lightly on the bed making sure to avoid meeting Alistair's eyes and turned for the armoire when I felt a hand grip my wrist.

"Stop it! Just stop doing that!" he hissed halting my movements. I went to pull my arm away but his grip only tightened. I sighed again and looked off to the small mound of clothes forming on my bed.

"What are you doing?" I could feel his eyes burning in the side my face, but I refused to meet his gaze.

"I'm packing. I thought I had made that perfectly clear,"

"Packing for what? Why are you leaving?" I frowned at his statement. Was his man so daft?

"I've been here for too long, outstayed my welcome," I shrugged turning my gaze onto the wood floor. I shouldn't have to say why, he should just know. If he couldn't tell why I was upset then maybe this relationship was a mistake. His eyes narrowed slightly as he stepped in closer to me.

"I'm man enough to admit I was angry and I avoided you. But how could I not? I go into the Landsmeet like a sheep among wolves and you let them devour me. I was happy," he let out a sarcastic chuckle "relieved to keep Anora on the throne; but to hear you, the love my life suggestmarriage," he spat the word like he had been cursed.

I physically flinched at the disgusted tone of his voice. How had this conversation changed so drastically? I was supposed to be the hurt one, so why did I feel so guilty now? I tried desperately to hold on to my anger.

"I did what I thought was best," I pulled my wrist but his grip was firm, "If I had not made you king Anora would have surely imprisoned us. Securing you on the throne saved us!"

"Just like sleeping with Morrigan saved us?" he spat back at me, "What 'us' did you save? I'm pretty sure it wasn't our relationship"

My head shot up, shocked that he would say such a thing. I met his eyes and felt the anger seething off of him. His brows were pulled inward forming tight lines in between his eyes. I could feel the bruises forming on my wrist as he seemed to squeeze tighter.

I clenched my teeth, trying to speak through the pain, "Everything I did, I did for us. I've sacrificed…" I paused unable to continue my thought, "You're hurting me!"

"Sacrificed?" he laughed ignoring my plea, "I've sacrificed my body and I've sacrificed my life. You've given up nothing…"

"I've sacrificed you!" I cut him off with a scream. Tears blurred my vision, but I felt empowered. His grip on my wrist loosened. I pulled away and cradled it against my chest. "I let go of the only person I've been in love with, and what for? To be scolded as if I were a mere child?" I roughly wiped away me tears with the palm of my able left hand and created more space between us. I looked into Alistair's face and noticed his frown was gone and tight lines had smoothed away.

I took his silence as cue to continue, "I made the decisions that I felt were right, but look where it got me," I laughed humorlessly, "Look at what it earned me, your scorn; Decorated Blight Hero with nothing to show!"

My adrenaline, my anger seemed to slowly leave me drained. I sniffled turning away from his open face to resume packing. "I'm leaving for Highever, if his Majesty will forgive me my return is long overdue," my voice was low and unsteady. More tears threatened to spill over my eyes as I carelessly folded my shirts. He was silent. He hadn't left, for I still felt his eyes boring into me, and he wouldn't leave until he had recanted.

"You can take your leave, Alistair. There is no need to stay in my presence any longer," I said lowly. I stopped the pretense of folding my clothes and stood stock still when I felt his breath hit the back of my neck and his arms wrap around my waist. I whimpered at the feel of him for I hadn't been held for so long. I relaxed into his arms and let my head fall upon his shoulder as he nuzzled my neck.

"Maiara" his breath hit the back of my neck like a static shock to my system. He turned me around and cradled my face with both hands. He softly wiped my tears with his thumbs before meeting my gaze. A feeling of vulnerability washed over me causing more tears to flow.

"I don't want to lose you," I spoke through my tears. My voice ragged, "I-I need-"

His warm lips cut me off drinking our desperation away.

I shook my head at the memory. It was a thing of the past now and hopefully that wasn't the issue with Alistair now. We had carefully worked up to this point. Although Anora and he were husband and wife in the archives, they were not in the sense. They were never seen together aside from official appearances. There were rumors though. An heir is what they needed, but I'd rather cross that bridge when I come to it.

Maybe Arl Eamon has him signing important ledgers or declarations.

Maybe.


End file.
